Splitsville for Brangelina? It’s the story they all wanted. So kudos to whichever gossip-hound uncovered intelligence of the couple’s sort-of prenup. However, did we really need some unnamed source at a Beverly Hills divorce specialist to tell us that theirs is a relationship under pressure? Much simpler to consult Brad Pitt’s chin.

Look at it. That, right there, is more than just a beard; it’s a nit-magnet, a silent scream and a cipher all rolled into one. It’s hair that says the end of the affair.

The “break-up beard” is an oft-observed post-split male grooming choice. Pitt’s beard is an interesting variant on this theme — an aspirational break-up beard with a twist of breakdown. A follicular “f*** you” with metaphorical undertones, it started strong, virile and lustrous but withered away to a stunted, unkempt nothing. And it can’t feel all that lovely to the touch.

Facial hair is a language. In the past Pitt has flirted with an Errol Flynn moustache and a razor-sharp goatee, both styles that semaphore “I rate myself rather highly — and I hope you do, too”.

The message behind this new statement beard, a meths-drinker’s tribute to ZZ Top, is quite the opposite.

PS: Yes, we know this beard has a cover story (a prop for a new film in which Pitt plays an explorer lost in the Amazon). But hair extensions could have done the job just as well, and minimised the Deliverance look.